Learning from a Far (Get it?)

    So, last week Far graciously extended an offer to show me how she runs her WebEx classes - a personal tutorial, if you will. It was an interesting learning experience, and Far was a super effective instructor. I was impressed at her mastery and ease at teaching online, an environment where I am still attempting to gain some facility.
     She showed me how she sets up her classes, how her students virtually raise their hands, how she can tell if they are attending to their work or not (somethings are the same for teachers, no matter the forum!). We practiced changing screens to share information, talking on the phone using the speaker and just up to the ear :), looked at some power points together while she spoke about them, etc. It was a highly effective way to teach, and I was impressed not only with the job Far did as a teacher, but with a couple of other things, as well. The differences in teaching online vs face-to-face, and the implications for global education, like MOOCs.
     I am a very emotionally and physically connected teacher. I hug students as they enter and leave the room (granted, they are seven :) ) and often use touch to refocus or encourage them. I bend down to make eye contact, and often make myself physically lower than they are to give them more power when I think they need it. Teaching online definitely removes those tools from the teacher kit. It made me wonder how much of my practice I'd have to change if my job ever became more internet oriented.
     When Farheen said that she can instruct more than a hundred students at a time, I was reminded of what we learned about MOOCs, and more accessible instruction. While I still think that same-site interaction provides an optimum learning experience, I can clearly see how these courses can be successful, especially with an engaging and organized instructor like Far.
     Overall, the experience was beneficial, both technically, and as a philosophically broadening experience. Thank you, Farheen!

Your Children Are My Children

"We are a world in grief, and it is at once intolerable and a great opportunity." 

 ~ Anne Lamott

 "Let us resolve that half a century and more of this country as a killing field is more than enough. Let us refuse to let this day of dying fade into memory and the malaise of resignation to things as they are. Let us stand against the odds so that countless others who otherwise would never even know the cause of their slaying or the name of their executioner may instead live, laugh, and find love and not hate. Today Barack Obama spoke his heart and the nation’s—and called on us to take “meaningful action regardless of the politics.” Maybe at last, this is the time; it must be the time. The massacre has come too many times." 

 - Robert Shrum (at Daily Beast)

     Last night my family was witness to me weeping and sniffling. This morning was more of the same. Anticipating another day with an emotional mother,  Mollie (15) crept into the kitchen with a hug and a smile, ready to help bake. Connor (17) appeared, with the offer of running down to the local Mexican bakery, to grab a bag of sweet breads and coffee to start the day. Griffin (18), bleary-eyed and recovering from his production week and opening night at school approached me with the coziest of man-child hugs and the words "What should I do for you before I leave, Mama?". Peter was already out and about picking up extra work on the weekend as we gather resources for what will be a skinny gifting season, but one wealthy in core blessings.

      I have to finish a peace paper, compile a research proposal for my university job, bake a few dozen cookies for a cookie exchange, go get a tree, be witty and attractive at no less than three holiday gatherings in the next 36 hours, lesson plan for next week and still attend to daily wife/mother/daughter responsibilities. As I often remind myself when I feel overwhelmed by the tasks involved in just handling things in an average fashion, my "problems" are the problems of the privileged - those blessed with healthy selves and families, full pantries and schedules, job security and deep friendships. Woe is me seems, well, is, a ridiculous refrain in the face of such abundance. 

     However, I have not been able to accomplish a thing - other than some cookies and lots of crying. The news is turned off, but plays incessantly in my head. My own fertile and malignant imagination filling in too many blanks with the faces and rooms of my school, my students, my parents, my peers. Like so many others this morning in our nation, I am full of heartbreak and anger. But this reaction is a visceral one. I am made physically ill at the events and my own emotional embellishments. I am experiencing this massacre, these lost children, not just as a parent, but even more intensely as a teacher. How many times have I said to a parent, regarding some miscellaneous scuffle between seven year olds, "It is my primary responsibility to keep your child safe at school."? More times than I can count, really. As teachers we recognize that learning cannot take place where there is fear. And that fear can be emotional or physical, but it is a real and important component in education to remove it from a child's school experience.

      I have not been surprised to hear of the heroic acts of the teachers at Sandy Hook Elementary School. Indeed, I would be surprised to hear anything less. We, your child's teachers, confidants and cheerleaders, take very seriously the responsibility handed to us every day when you drop a piece of your heart at our door. Over the years, I frequently thank my parents for the gift of trusting me with their children - and I mean it, deeply. That is why I cannot stop watching, cannot stop crying, cannot stop putting myself in those classrooms in Connecticut yesterday morning. Along with the collective voices of a distraught nation of parents, are the voices of teachers, and we are saying, This is enough. It is not only time to have the gun discussion we keep hearing about on the news, but to have gun action. Reform must happen, and it will be because parents and teachers and sane caretakers of our nation's children must demand nothing less. The time is now. It is our moral imperative. What will you do to further the task?

Camtasia Videocast

20% - Investigating a New Path

   

It isn't enough to talk about peace. One must believe in it. And it isn't enough to believe in it. One must work at it. 

Eleanor Roosevelt 

(wallwisher - a visual on 20%)

     I have been enviously reading Nour's accounts of delicious new recipes, Maureen's measurable accomplishments with Google, Far's videoed work product. My project has not been as concrete. How do you measure self-exploration and a growing facility with a new lexicon?
     In trying to define what, exactly, I've been spending this gift of 20% doing, I can only relate that this gift of time to learn something new, has been just that. I have been free to explore -  through readings online (Diigo Library!), inspirational TED talks, and chasing documents through Google Scholar - a burgeoning interest in a field away from my career and schooling.
     I feel as though I have been participating in a quirky online scavenger hunt, each find leading to the next. I have spent lost minutes gazing into space after stumbling upon a particularly thought-provoking quote or photograph. I have been moved to tears viewing inspiring videos, both beautiful and tragic.
Having come to the end of our EDUC travels, I can state, unequivocally, that I will be changing direction come fall, and that I will be using the tools we practiced here in this new sphere.
     Being able to invest this project time in the pursuit of an emerging passion as indeed, been a gift. Being able to research said passion more effectively than I ever could have three months ago is the sweet academic payoff.

Thoughts...

    

     Friday night my husband, kids and I headed up to campus to attend the Lessons & Carols service at Founder's Chapel. It was truly lovely. The choir sang like youthful angels, the chapel looked beautiful, and the homily was inspiring.

     There was a feeling not just of a spiritual community during a holy season, but of a spiritual community joined with an academic one, hearts united in hope and celebration.  I saw a couple of people I know, and was excited to see that one of the testament readers was a woman I have a class with this semester. It was delightful to be able to share a campus experience with my family, and to have my academic experience be enriched by the spiritual side of USD.

     We are a lucky few to be having a graduate school experience at all, and luckier still to be in a place that grows our intellects while feeding our souls. Whether you are fed visually, by the many stunning vistas USD affords, communally, by the extra events and groups available, or spiritually, through the opportunity to worship together, we all have much to be grateful for in this season of celebration for many cultures. 

     It was a gift, in this busy time, to be still in the midst of work, school, and family, and be grateful and singing.

Peace!

     

How I Feel After Tonight's Failed BlackBoard Attempt

'nuff said.

Classroom Tech Use - Bumps and Bonuses

   

     Integrating even the most basic technology into my classroom continues to be a challenge. I am definitely an old dog, historically reluctant to learn new tricks. As I have begun to be excited about, and recognize the necessity of, teaching with technology, I find myself starring in a repeating scenario. I find something new to try, get super pumped about it, and then due in equal parts to my technological black thumb, or a lack of the correct technologies, I am left frustrated and ready to forgo anything that requires a plug, battery, password or screen of any sort!
     That said, I am beginning to recognize a new routine when I am confronted with a problem. Step One used to be to either give up or call for help. Attempting to problem-solve alone was scary; I had a feeling that computers were delicate and that if I erred I'd be causing irreparable damage. I also felt limited by computer use. That if what I wanted wasn't working, there was no other option. Step Two was to revert to a back-up non-electronic lesson plan. It was also endlessly frustrating to waste instructional time trying to get things to work in class that were fully functional when I had planned them.
     These bumps in the road were on their way to becoming permanent blocks, keeping me from being a modern, current educator. The tide has begun to turn in a few key ways. Step One is now me. Calling for help is the last resort as I have become more comfortable with two ideas - We are all learning, and, as I tell my class, learners are people who make mistakes, fail, make more mistakes, and that is how they learn (interesting how my teaching with others was so easy to ignore when I was the one making mistakes!), and I have new tools in my kit that can help me solve problems myself. I am also learning that as frustrating as computer glitches are, it is okay to experiment. It is highly unlikely that I will kill the computer!
     Step Two is still about 50-50, but I feel comfortable with it. Some days, it may be okay to spend class time trying to solve something, and work together with my kids to do so. Other days I need to be mindful of the curriculum objective specifically and can't spare the time. And it is alright to make the old paper and pen choice. I am learning not to take it so personally when that happens, but to recognize that learning the new tricks was only the first step. Getting comfortable with them is another, and I am just beginning that phase of the relationship.
     The bonus of being willing to try to problem solve on my own is that I find myself stumbling upon things to try when I am looking for something else entirely. This has been both fun and crazy-making, as I sometimes try to integrate too many new things before I am adept at utilizing them.
     All in all, as the year progresses, and the fall comes to a close, I can take a moment to give myself a pat on the back. It is exciting and humbling to relearn something you are already very good at doing, and I am confident that I am an exceptional teacher. However, that does not excuse me from staying current, even though I sometimes try to let it.

MOOCs - The Next Big Thing (mooooooo)

   

OR

     Massive Open Online Courses, or MOOCs are an emerging international educational field causing both excitement and consternation in academic circles. Will professors become obsolete? Will this sound the death knell for personalized, face to face learning experiences? Will MOOCs provide quality educational experiences to populations previously denied higher education opportunities due to geography, finances or myriad other reasons?
     These are valid lines of inquiry, and there is much research being done even as MOOC offerings are growing exponentially. The Gates Foundation is funding a study of MOOCs, and there are many resources available for those interested in exploring further. Here's a beginning reading list.

Diigo Library on MOOCs

Practice Makes Perfect (or at least not glaringly imperfect!)

Last week we held our EDUC Technology class virtually. We had a Google+ Hangout instead of a traditional brick and mortar one. It was a learning experience with both pros and cons. This afternoon the idea was floated, by the lovely and capable Ms. Farheen K., that we try it again this week. Two thoughts leapt to mind at the same time - "Seriously?" and "Great!". So here we have the Seriously? and Great! list:

                         Seriously?                                                    __  Great!                            

wastes our class's good in-person chemistry         good group to practice something new with
too glitchy for some of us                                              good reason to practice more
I am uncomfortable being seen on screen              this is the future, better practice
we tried it, isn't that enough?                                       "once" keeps Visitor status, try practicing
can't see Far's shoes                                                          peeked at Jeff's extremely quiet child :)

Okay, jesting aside, what is the recurring theme here? Practice. Doing something more than once to gain familiarity with it instead of a fleeting meet and greet. I feel like there have been several of those meet and greets in this class - which is not a criticism, just a fact of Jeff trying to introduce dozens of ideas in a relatively brief time. My impression is that the expectation isn't that we master every single one, but that we find the ones that appeal to us - visually, organizationally, etc. - and really utilize them. Ideally, we can do that with sites that fall under different categories. Diigo for references, Storify for sharing presentations, edmoto for classroom management.

For me, there are levels of use, for lack of a better phrase. Things I know pretty well and am using on a daily basis. Things I am still practicing, but go to weekly-ish. Things I've marked to go back and check out again later. And I've tried to choose things from different categories to incorporate into my professional routines. Clearly, sharing through video chats, YouTube and the like is only going to become more present in the educational realm, and I need to be able to feel comfortable doing that. Comfortable with the technology that gets me there, and comfortable sitting at home being viewed by my peers. How to accomplish that? Practice!

So, yes. I vote for another virtual class, in fact, probably more than one.

The Dimensions of an Elephant Are Most Impressive

     

So excited!!! Every year I teach a novel by the incredibly talented Kate DiCamillo. She has written many wonderful books for children, among them Because of Winn-Dixie, The Tale of Despereaux, The Miraculous Journey of Edward Tulane, and The Magician's Elephant. I confess that when reading certain chapters of Edward Tulane I have been known to pass the book off to one of my students to read aloud as I am crying too hard to continue. This has also been known to occur during my readings of Charlotte's Web...

This year we have been reading and jumping off from The Magician's Elephant. I must plug this book as being an amazing read all the way through middle school - it is heavy with opportunities for discussion and creativity - and as an adult, I find it to be enchanting.

So. There is a an odd character who appears in the novel for one chapter only, wearing a dark suit and a top hat. He continuously mutters, "The dimensions of an elephant are most impressive. The dimensions of an elephant are most impressive, indeed." Well, for some reason my students just loved that character. They would raise their hands and say his line, or march around the playground shouting it out to each other. I started to think about the dimensions of an elephant - what could we do with that line? Writing prompt? Bulletin board? Hmmm.

We started out with the obvious; researching the Asian elephant (since that's what's in the book), Venn Diagraming with the African elephant. Then, the book started to discuss the difficulties of housing an elephant. It occurred to me that we could see what it was like to have an actual size elephant in our classroom. Now, like most of my brainstorms, this one occurred just before a crazy time at school, two days before Open House. Why not create, in two days time, a life size elephant and suspend it somehow from the ceiling of my classroom? Surely, one adult and 20 seven and eight year olds can accomplish that.

Here's how it went down: we created our elephant from recycled materials, and she is a life size silhouette of a female Asian elephant. Since the kids were intrigued by the top-hatted man in line to see the elephant who repeatedly muttered, "The dimensions of an elephant are most impressive." those words appear in giant writing along the top curves of our elephant. The rest of the collage was made by the kids gluing on the "skin" pieces by taking off their shoes and stomping all the pieces down. You can imagine the chaos that ensued during this stage! Featured in the collage are my 2nd Graders' haiku and 3rd Graders diamontes about the elephant's feelings, as well as their illustrations of their favorite parts/characters from the story.

She is now hanging in our classroom - quite an engineering feat that required my husband and three teenagers! She was in place and I had my clothes changed and the floor vacuumed with fifteen minutes to spare before Open House.

 
When the sun shines in the windows behind her she becomes a stained glass window. Most impressive, indeed! We are feeling a bit smug at our originality, teamwork and final product. But here is the even more fun addendum - Kate DiCamillo had a book signing here a couple of weeks ago. I could not attend (my son's 18th birthday took precedence) but was able to arrange preferred seating for my class (thank you Amea's mom!)and some of my moms' volunteered to be in charge of the outing. I sent along a photo collage of our project and today I received an email from the publishing house saying how impressed the author was and that they want to post our work! My class will be thrilled!

   
   

Old School

I admit it. My favorite technological tool that I use consistently in my classroom is my phone. Ever since we have been able to turn a phone into a music player, I have been able to access and use all of my "school music" with incredible ease.
A couple of years ago one of my parents came into the classroom every afternoon for a week. He downloaded and categorized all of my CDs onto my iTunes Library. More recently, every iTunes purchase is automatically synched to my phone. Convenience times 10.
Gone is the old boombox CD/tape player with the broken handle. Gone is the issue of opening disc covers, only to find no disc! Gone is the cassette tape conversion Rube Goldberg apparatus to connect to my iPod. These days I just plug my phone into the charger plus speakers on my desk, hit a playlist, and, ahhhh, music to my ears. Literally.
I know how lame that sounds to all of you tech fast-laners, but seriously, it is huge. I use music several times a day in my 2/3 classroom. Here's a small sample:

For studying - The Vitamin String Quartet. Nothing quiets my class faster.

How about a little G-Love and Special Sauce sing-a-long?

...and we've been learning this one from The Makepeace Brothers for Thanksgiving - "Thank You"


I hope you enjoy them. Then you can put them on your phone!

Thus Far...

What have I learned so far in Educ 578? This seems like a loaded question. I feel like I know what the desired answer is, but I'm not sure that that answer has been my experience.
There are definitely a number of cool things I've been exposed to that are informing my teaching and aiding me as a student outside of our class. To name a few game-changers:

• Diigo - organization, categorizing, labeling, highlighting. I'm in love!
• Pinterest - Where I feel that I am involved in a serious long-term relationship with Diigo, Pinterest may be more of a fling. That heady rush of a mad crush, stealing time to devote to nurturing it, thinking that everything I see somehow relates to a Pinterest board. Hmmm, an adolescent crush gone wild?
• Symbaloo - Who wouldn't want to commit to something with such a fun name? It reminds me of Baloo, from The Jungle Book, and Symbaloo has definitely become one of the "Bare Necessities" for my online sanity. My classroom laptop even has a Symbaloo that my students are adding to and use daily. Symbaloo is my new BFF.
• Generally becoming more comfortable with blogging. I recognize this as a necessary skill to cultivate as it is also required at work and I have been, historically, quite hesitant about doing it. Baby steps!

Sharing Old Traditions With New Friends

Friday was Dia de los Muertos, a centuries old holiday celebrating the dead. It is a major holiday in my house - the equivalent of Christmas or Thanksgiving. There was a huge party, complete with ofrenda, sugar skulls, and raucous toasting of our departed loved ones. It was a special and unique experience to see the giant Venn Diagram circles of my life intersect for such a meaningful occasion. Thank you to Maureen, Lindsay, Far and Alexis for representing USD with such good cheer!

Happy Dia de los Muertos!

The Empathetic Student

The reading and reflecting that we have been doing after reading A Whole New Mind has mostly attended to the relationships we create with our peers and students. There has not been a focus on the relationships our students create with us.
In our calling to be effective teachers, we all know that there are weightier areas than the core curriculum. One of those areas is the social-emotional piece of the curricular puzzle. And the key to a meaningful social-emotional teaching experience in a classroom lies in the relationships held between instructors and students.
I work hard to have healthy, respectful, empathetic relationships with my students, and I expect that they will carry their weight in their relationship with me. This means that the guidelines for behavior in our classroom flow in both directions.  I stop, look and listen when a student is speaking to me.  I expect the same in return.  Teaching in the primary grades has its own, unique catalogue of interruptions and interactions - "I bit my lip", "I can't do that", "He copied", etc.  Attending to these myriad perceived crises is the primary grade educator's juggling act.  The students' issues are very real and intensely felt, and so are mine.
They expect me to empathize with the minutia of their daily experience and I expect the same.  When it is my turn, it is their "stop, look and listen" time.  And when they don't meet that expectation, as I do for them, I tell them how that feels for me and talk with them about empathy.
I believe making yourself human and vulnerable to your students and being willing to parse why it is important to wear another's shoes for a moment is a valuable part of teaching effectively. After all, experiencing empathy is a key life skill. People wonder if younger generations can understand real empathy.  Yes, they can.  They just need someone to teach them.

2:18

     I am beginning to integrate my two iPads into the classroom. Obviously, it would be better to have a greater number - either a full class set or five or six to do group work, but two is better than none! The challenge has been to avoid just using them to fill time for students who finish regular work sooner then their peers. It can quickly be seen as a treat that only an elite few receive.
     Instead I am trying to stay mindful of finding ways to either rotate the time with iPads or use them in groups of three, giving six students a chance to use them in a given time period. The latter idea has proven to work well when I plan their usage as a center. I am also finding that since they are such knowledgeable users of this technology that I am rarely needed to troubleshoot, as they can handle most issues that arise for themselves.
     So far I have used the iPads mostly in Second Grade Math and in Third Grade Geography. There are not many ways to make learning the 50 states fun, but iPads do.
     I am currently lobbying hard for an additional pair of Ipads - I bought the first two, and am asking my school to pick up the tab for two more. Being able to put more students there for longer periods of time would allow me to do more in-depth learning, particularly in reading, for greater differentiated learning experiences.

This Is My 20%

I know that I blogged about this before, but it is a process that continues to unfold. I am trying to decide whether or not to continue in my current program, or make a big change. The path is gently sloping toward a peace and justice focus, but that is a new and curious world. I've narrowed down the decision to this - I am I peace-y, or justice-y? This question is much harder to answer than it appears.


And so. Twenty percent project. It has presented itself, essentially, as a tool for me to explore where I am being led to learn and work in this third act of my life. This is not intended to sound melodramatic; it is a simple fact. What comes next, who I choose to develop into is most likely going to be my definition of self as an an empty nest, post middle aged woman possessed of some intelligence and wit and a calling to be of service in an evolving world. Listening to this TED talk reinforced for me that I am ripe for a more global service experience. It also seemed to be a positive sign that one of the stories was about Cambodian women - interesting since my time there has heavily impacted this whole thought process. http://www.ted.com/talks/jacqueline_novogratz_inspiring_a_life_of_immersion.html


This tedious navel-gazing is being spurred on by the approach of spring registration (practical!) and the myriad feelings being raised by my return to school (emotional). The experience is all I thought it would be, and not at all what I expected. Contradictions galore. Decisions await.


Hence - the questions:


What does peace look like? What does justice look like? Which one looks like me?

http://www.ted.com/talks/jacqueline_novogratz_inspiring_a_life_of_immersion.html

Chapter 5 (in Which Our Heroine Faces a Fork in the Road)

"Your work is to discover your world and then with all your heart give yourself to it." 
~ Buddha

"Go confidently in the direction of your dreams. Live the life you have imagined." 
~ Henry Thoreau

     This week's assignment: use 20% of your study time to learn something new. This is based on  Google's practice of encouraging employees to spend 20% of their work time exploring new ideas. Another recent assignment was to write about something we are passionate about. While trying to decide on the former and write about the latter I felt the two assignments merging.  The harder I tried to separate my search for the new elusive something, from this idea of elaborating on my passion, the more clearly I understand that the 20% is the defining of my passion.

     I love quotes - I always have. I keep a journal that contains no writing of my own, just the quotes of others. The two that I have listed above seem to be speaking to me pretty clearly these days, although I have been remarkably dimwitted in realizing that. I place no blame on the authors for lacking clarity, the fault lies entirely in my unwillingness to hear them.

     My first go-round at earning an advanced degree was almost twenty years ago. I possessed absolute certainty that I would spend my life fulfilled by the profession of teaching. Well, time has gone by, and while I love it - really love it - I recognize the seed of desire for something new...something other. Several times this week I have sat down at the computer ready to pursue a new interest, master some eclectic skill that would make for excellent party conversation and consume the allotted time, plus, meet my class requirement. I've sat still, fingers poised over the keyboard, waiting to be led towards the Google search that will lead to an exciting new hobby or skill. Something else has occurred. I find myself searching for information on different graduate programs. Repeatedly. 

     Last year, I repeated the words of Thoreau like a mantra; especially while filling out my application to USD. Go confidently. Confidently. Confidently. And I did. I was thrilled to receive an acceptance letter, absolutely confident that this degree was what I wanted. I am now several months in, and making a scary discovery. That was an old dream. It was the dream of an excited, untested, freshly minted teacher. It was the life I had imagined twenty years ago. I am beginning to see that the "something that I had just been squinting at in the distance, something shiny and fresh with possibilities"(to quote myself!), is, indeed something so fresh and new that it is still a bit elusive, testing me to see if I'll tease out a final new goal. If I'll "discover my world", to paraphrase Buddha.

     A few things have been discovered thus far:

• I love being in school again
• I want to learn
• I am capable of doing good things in a big world

These discoveries are shaping a new dream. They confirm that returning to school was the right choice. Now I just need to ferret out the details - hopefully before registration begins for next semester! I am existing in a space between Buddha and Thoreau - I am setting out to discover my world, confidently find my place there, and give it my whole heart. Certainly, that will be an excellent use of my twenty percent.

     I am definitely looking for feedback - if any of you care to comment who have switched away from their original intent, or entertained this thought and rejected it...what do you say?

addendum: having looked at some posts from the rest of my talented class, I am ready to just stay in this and learn to knit. Any supporters?

The following links really spoke to me about this subject:

http://www.cbsnews.com/8301-505125_162-28248392/what-it-means-to-be-passionate-about-something/

     
http://www.ted.com/talks/dave_eggers_makes_his_ted_prize_wish_once_upon_a_school.html

     

http://www.ted.com/talks/eddi_reader_sings_about_what_you_ve_got.html

http://www.ted.com/talks/jeremy_gilley_one_day_of_peace.html

     

Cheaper by the Dozen

     My latest assignment for EDUC 578 was to Google my name, post the resulting search page, and reflect upon the experience. Well. 

     I had not participated before in this exploratory act of self-curation. Investigating myself online and beginning to have an awareness of the virtual museum exhibit that is Stephanie Barnes. Or maybe Stephanie Cameron. Wait, the hyphenate version! Stephanie Cameron-Barnes. The initial bump in the road was that there are too many nominal versions of me, and none of my names are particularly unique. Hence, the (at least) dozen internet Stephanies. I admit to a fleeting pang of disappointment at the lack of even one item that was actually me. The pang was quickly replaced by a mental exhale of relief. Frankly, I felt super creepy stalking myself online.
     As I perused the list of other Stephanies, I reverted to pathetically vain inner commentary - "Good Lord! She is unfortunately faced! I hope no one thinks that's me!*". After continuing in that manner for longer than I care to admit, I had another arrogant thought - "These people aren't terribly interesting or accomplished. Why are they featured here and I am not?". And that led to the intellectual conundrum.
      1: These Stephanies are probably really great people, but being reduced to a LinkedIn blurb is not doing them any favors.
      2: I am an interesting and minimally accomplished person, if I were listed here, too,  people I don't know could find me and make vain judgmental comments of their own.
      3: I cheated and began googling members of my book group, educators I work with, even my sister. They were all there. 
     # 3 trumped the other two. Searching for my online self amidst the truckload of same-named others and finding no one was a little depressing. Here was a clear representation of my Visitor status. Having spent the last few weeks learning that who I am in the wide world of technology is essential to who I am professionally only to discover that who I am is a bevy of not-me's was an unhappy, though unsurprising find. As I continue to warily explore this new space, maybe a few of my steps forward will begin to leave a mark. 
*There was one young, seductive actress Stephanie, but I don't really think anyone will mistake her for me.
     
     

Looking for Margins In All the Wrong Places

Day One     Pause button. Where in hell is the Pause button! Seth Godin is preaching to me about unlocking my amazing leadership potential but I need to hit the Pause button and get a grip on the piece of cardboard that is standing in for my son's moonroof and is about to blow off on the freeway and cause a multi-vehicle accident and WHERE IS THE PAUSE BUTTON?

Day Three   I am listening intently to Mr. Godin discuss his ideas on marketing - change, risk, 1,000 tribe members - uh-oh, siren. Barking Ellie, keening Sam. Pause button! I have lost my place and the brilliant Mr. G has moved on without me. Backing up with iTunes' handy little dot doesn't work well. I've gone too far back. Oops, too far forward. And...not forward enough.

Day Three   Wait. Wait, wait. That was great, I want to write that down. Unwise while driving, and I have just missed the third quote today that I would have underlined and jotted notes about in the margins.

I want to affirm Seth Godin. I want to inch toward tribe member status by having a one-sided praise fest in the margins of a bendable, markable, actual, book. Here is where I'd inscribe three asterisks and an exclamation point, here a small "well said!" with an arrow twisting toward a particular phrase. And there's the quote that I'd underline and write a couple of names next to, of people who I'd send the quote to later.

I'd like to bring my marked up copy to the car wash, where I could squeeze in the end of the next chapter, and maybe recommend it to the person waiting next to me. All the while, singing the praises of Seth Godin, who actually made a book about marketing palatable to this reluctant audience of one. "love that! totally agree" my grammatically incorrect margins exclaim! Unfortunately, that is not to be.

I've tweeted a quote, but I had to come home, Google "Seth Godin quotes Tribes", search four pages of other peoples' favorites, and make do tweeting one that wasn't my favorite, because my favorite floated out the window somewhere on the 15 South.

Tribes is a really interesting book. I loved much of what he said about leadership and I would probably read more by Seth Godin in print. In fact I did seek out his blog and become a member of his website, Squidoo at http://www.squidoo.com/. But, please, no more audiobooks, unless they are narrated by Jeremy Irons and require nothing of me but rapt attention and subconscious asides as I wriggle my toes in the sand and pour a mojito. No Pause button necessary.

...and now a note about the book

     After Senator Ted Kennedy died, there were a multitude of tributes to him and his career in the Senate. One special memorialized him with interviews of many members of Congress from both sides of the aisle. I wish I could recall who made this statement (and I'm paraphrasing here), but it was something like, "The reason Ted was such an effective leader was because he didn't want praise. If something passed he'd be the one saying it was because of everyone else's efforts, and if it failed, he'd take all the blame."

     I was reminded of that several times when Seth Godin talked about leadership. He spoke of doing what you love because you love it, not for the recognition it garners. He addressed the sting of criticism, but turned that on its head by looking at the critics as a few more people who are paying attention. He spoke repeatedly of inspiration.

     My personal philosophy about effective leadership is based heavily on inspiration, affirmation,and power. Inspire people, praise them, give them power to create change. And take the blame when failures happen, it frees them to go higher next time. 

       


My Storify on Mr. Godin

Get to Know Me!

     Do any of you recall a skit from Saturday Night Live, circa mid-80's (and, yes, I'm dating myself), featuring Jon Lovitz repeatedly belting out, "GET TO KNOW ME!"? This neatly expresses my feelings regarding having an online identity and my status as a Visitor rather than a Resident in the digital world. The requirements of one of my classes this semester orbit around the creation and maintenance of a professional presence online. A public digital me. Yay. Jon Lovitz, anyone?
     Perhaps my aversion to this idea is based on old-fashioned self-esteem issues - who really wants to get to know me? Maybe it's the preferable characteristic of modesty - maybe it would be great to get to know me, but I'm not going to throw myself at you. Or maybe I just prefer an old school network where people converse in person. Whatever the reason, the fact remains that I am averse to this idea that the next, best thing is coming to a screen near me and I need to be a little pixel-y part of it.
     I am quite comfortable with my visitor status, much as I am in real life. Hanging out is great for a while, but at some point, I'd like to just thank my hosts and go home. I recognize  that this idea must evolve, both for the purposes of passing my class (Hello, Professor Heil!) and because there is an inevitability about social media and fuller professional lives that I do understand, if not appreciate. So here we go, Faceless Friends. Get to know me!

An interesting talk about how we inhabit digital space...or not http://tallblog.conted.ox.ac.uk/index.php/2009/10/14/visitors-residents-the-video/

Saturday Night Live clip http://www.nbc.com/saturday-night-live/video/get-to-know-me/1353031

Six Impossible Things

"Why, sometimes I've believed as many as six impossible things before breakfast." ~ Lewis Carroll

     It is entirely new, this chapter. The roads had all become  familiar, the frustrations navigable, small goals handily met. There were signs aplenty that it was time to turn the page toward something that I had just been squinting at in the distance, something shiny and fresh with possibilities. So here I am, after teaching for over a decade and parenting for almost two, I find myself set upon a new path of learning.

     I am a student again, having returned to the academic world and a long-abandoned Master's degree. Universities are different. Everything is plugged in, my notebook and pen seem archaic, and I am older than some of my teachers and all of my co-learners. This blog is a result of a class requirement. I am scared of technology - it defeats me to0 often. Starting with its siren song of simpler tasks, global families and instant creativity, and ending, always, with my utter frustration.

     There will be many impossible things to believe over the next two years. Not the big one. I believe completely that I am capable and that in the long run I will leave with two very impressive pieces of paper in my hand. The impossibilities lie in the small steps I must take to get there. Full-time teacher, wife, parent of teenagers. Nothing has been taken away, just added. Time is the biggest challenge, but not impossible. The first thing I must believe at the dawn of this new day - well before breakfast! - is in my own power as a learner. It never leaves us, the desire to know new things, but returning to practicing it, publicly, with tests and projects and papers, that is today's impossible feeling.

     I believe, I believe, I believe.